Photo: Artist Scott Marsh finishing off his work targeting NSW Premier ‘Casino’ Mike Baird. (Getty: Cole Bennetts)
Hi all, I recently did a little satirical piece for Uni concerning our beloved NSW Premier, Mike Baird, otherwise known as ‘Casino Mike’. For those of you from interstate or overseas, perhaps a little background. Casino Mike is the god-fearing Liberal (conservative) Premier of our beloved state. He has recently got the better of himself and let power go to his head. These very unpopular policies which seem only to benefit those in the Casino Mike team have proved most unwelcome and a backlash is in full swing.
Below is not only the piece I wrote, but also a wonderful video rendition of my words by my good chum, Michael Teulon. Not only did he star in the video, he also provided all the technical gubbins through his production company – Key Studios. Cheers Mate.
“The life of a virtuous and god-fearing Member of Parliament is a testing one. The taxing burden is even greater when you achieve, as I have done, the high office of Premier. Praise be.
When I set out on this righteous path, my only goal was to serve my electorate and the fine, up-standing peoples of this god-blessed state. So I find it very galling when those lefties and greenies start poking their nose into the real business of state management. They seem to think that compassion for refugees, a vibrant nightlife, concern for the climate and the separation of state from corporate funding is more important than the building of massive roads, the promotion of gambling, funding Christian teachings in state schools and approving invasive mining techniques in prime agricultural land. What planet are these hairy atheists on!?
With the help of my chums on talk-back radio (thank-you Alan, thank-you Ray) and those top fellas at the Daily Telegraph (thank-you Rupert), we’ve managed to keep these wealth destroyers in check. Lord be praised. Of course, they have a strong enclave in the inner city suburbs but our thoughtful policies of flattening them and building endless stacks of apartments is flushing them out and away to the dark outer-reaches of our glorious metropolis.
To support this urban destruction/renewal – take your pick, we are driving a much need motorway through the area. Obviously, this will mean knocking down a few old houses. They bleat heritage, I say, fear of the new. For those few, who have somehow managed to find the money to buy a house, we have instituted an initiative to merge their councils. Ridding ourselves of those duly elected representatives (who aren’t in our gang) and installing a more commercial minded management team. It’s not our fault if these new managers happen to be from the correct side of politics. It’s for the best. Have faith.
Eventually they will see the light or better still, move to Victoria. Once our mission is complete and we have created a concrete glistening, money making Utopia in Gods own emerald Sydney. Then we can turn our attention to the non-Christian, non-English speaking horde knocking at the door of our leafy suburbs. That great orator, Donald Trump, is planning to build a wall to stop the Mexican wave. We have a similar proposal in committee, but ours is a financial wall that will stop the creep of the great unwashed to our pristine door. I am confident that our plans will be seen as the progressive policies that they are. It is by only defending the haves that we can control, I mean, aid the have nots.
My mind is clear, the lord is on my side and the polls indicate thus – I am the chosen one, money is the weapon of the righteous and in our pursuit of it, we shall create God’s heaven here by the beach. Amen”